Signs From Our Children Whom Have Died, Fact, Fiction or Fantasy?

As most of you well know losing a child, a grandchild, or sibling is a life changing, life altering event. An experience that rocks your world, brings you to your knees, and brings you to a grief so profound, so pervasive, and so intense it seems surreal. It is impossible to be real, impossible to be happening. It tests your limits of emotions and challenges your spirit to even want to survive; how can I live with this daily pain?  How can I ever smile or laugh again when I know that my child is dead?  I am truly living a nightmare because the truth is unreal, too painful to accept; how can this be happening?  Every morning when I open my eyes I revisit denial and my day begins like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhogs Day; the same day all over again. The fresh pain of reality stabs my heart once again and as I force myself out of bed when my eyes first open; again unwilling to accept the horror of the truth I am a bereaved dad.

Moms and dads, siblings all over the world are forced by circumstance to deal with the reality of the death of a child in the family.  We are vulnerable from the moment the our  first cell splits and divides in the comfort of our mothers womb, until that time our heart can no longer pump its own blood; the limits of it beats per minute per year were reached and it stopped.  The human heart can pump non stop for almost a hundred years but our earth is a harsh environment and there are so many things out to get us; even our own genes can try to kill us; death can strike at anytime. Our children can even end their own life; no one is immune to the possibility of losing someone you love.

In the struggle to survive the enormity of the death of a child we look for anything we can find to assuage the pain.  Weeks, months, years go by and we still find ourselves looking for some end to this madness. We look for something to fill this huge void that is so pervasive in our daily life; to seek and find a sign-post that points in some direction besides destination unknown.    The intense missing them so much seems to almost cripple our attempts to survive. In healing, in moving forward, we feel we are abandoning them or letting them go.  Its impossible for us to say its okay I know that you are dead it is not okay, it never will be okay, but we have to survive. We have to follow our path given to us and fulfill our personal destiny. We did not die; its up to us to live.

Many bereaved parents believe that although their child died in the physical sense, their spirit lives on forever and can in many different ways get back to us in spirit.  This experience validates life after death and is hugely comforting to the bereaved parents, family and friends who have interpreted a phenomenal event as a sign from the child or loved one whom has died.  Reality or wishful thinking, can our children whom have died somehow communicate back to us with messages of their continued existence?

From personal experience I have to say yes it is a reality. I have had many signs from my son who died more than 20 years ago.   Months following the death of my son I wrote him a letter and   I asked him for a sign, I asked him to make something grow in our yard I had not seen before.  That next spring three cornstalks grew in our back yard lawn, I quit mowing that lawn and in the fall the one cornstalk had produce an ear of corn.  On the first anniversary of his death that late fall I picked that lonely corn cob. When peeling back the husk of the ear of corn I found the cob had rotted and that the mold had formed and stained the back of the husk with the letters D A D.

Since that time I have spoken with thousands of bereaved parents who also feel that their child has communicated back to them in someway following their physical death.  I would say close to one hundred percent of bereaved parents I have polled  have had some experience that leads them to believe that love survives death; consciousness survives death, our children are in another realm of existence and can some how let us know that they are near. Many of these parents have also had experiences prior to their childs death, something their child said, did or dreamed of that when posthumously revisited gave them pause to think; that somehow, someway, at some level of spirit their child knew their time to leave was on the near horizon. Even though they themselves were not cognitively aware their soul knew.

There are many ways that our children communicate to us, alive or dead. Mothers intuition is fact not fantasy, it is that close connect we call love. Love does not die with physical death.  For any experience of this sort to happen it takes an open mind, a receptive heart, and the ability to slow done and listen.  I have talked to many mothers whom for some reason it seems the last to experience a phenomenon of this sort, especially early on the grief journey.  If the mind has not yet accepted the reality of the death, how can it receive messages from someone who is not dead in their own mind?   When we have finally allowed that reality to sink in, and believe that although they are dead, loves survives, then the messages will come. They come to all different people in all different ways, but come they do. We just have to try and recognize the signs when they appear, some are subtle, and some are bold, some come through others.

Has the most poignant song ever just come up on the radio when you needed it most?  Has a butterfly landed on your shoulder and refused to go away?  Has an orb shown up in a photograph at a special event?  Has your dog barked at the air in recognition of someone there?  Has that Eagle flown overhead at just the right moment? Has the bumper sticker or Billboard reached out and spoken right to your heart? Have you had the most vivid dream of your loved one that is still so vivid in your mind that it was like an actual event?  Have you found that penny, dime or feather in the oddest of places? Have you heard their voice, smelled their scent, and felt them sit on the bed?  Have they spoken to you through a third party?

There are man ways for the spirit of our children to let us know they survived death and that they can let us know that.  I believe strongly that there are gifted people out there that can provide the means for our children to communicate back to us and that they can be a valuable tool on the bereavement journey.  I also believe that there are those that could take advantage of the bereaved who are so vulnerable. So Caveat Emptor (buyer beware) when seeking help from a third party.  Some people have had dramatic evidential proof of survival, others have walked away disappointed when nothing happens or angry at information that made no sense.  One should not have to spend a lot of money to receive a message from your child or loved one. The foremost thing is in truly believing that their spirit can touch us at any time. It may take many years before you experience a phenomenon of this sort and for some may be not at all, but for most it does happen.  At my workshops this summer at the TCF National Conference in Nashville (and BPUSA in St. Louis) I will illustrate with a slide show and give testimony to many valid experiences that I believe are signs from our children whom have died. Love never dies and whispers of love not far away.

Peace, love and light

Mitch Carmody

heartlightstudio@aol.com

www.heartlightstudios.net