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My Son! My Angel! My Inspiration

Feelings of a Mom
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Happy Mother's Day
Feelings of a Mom
Mother's Day Letters of Support

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Please share with all moms and me any support you can give. As you can see years do not mean alot to us all seems like yesterday. you will find a mom of one year feeling the same as a mom of 20 years.  You may feel it is time for one to get a grip and move on which trust me a mom feels like when will I ever find peace with my loss. And that is a question we do not have an answer for. And not for you to set a time on for us either. A mom does not sit around thinking of things to bring her tears and pain and some of the tiniest thoughts will trigger a total day of crying. This journey we are on has no map, no direction and only God can guide us down this road. He knows how we feel and will feel a day , a week or a year from now. I often say God I thank you for understanding because I am so angry with you for taking my son WHY?.  God knows we are angry but he loves us anyway. When you do not know what to say offer a hug! Many times that is all one needs or wants.  Love to all moms and families! Patti

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Dear Patty:  Losing a child is such a devastating loss that it is unbearable to speak of.  It is a parent's worst nightmare of sorrow, grief, pain and agony.
I send these words of comfort to you:  I would not give up one iota of the time I had with my son, Geoff, even though I suffer such agony and pain now that he is gone from this world.  It does "soften" this pain but it will never go away - how can it, when we love that child so much no matter what their age.  Our great pain is from the great love we have for them.
Karen Lyn Jenkins
Mother of an Angel with Pink Wings
Geoffrey P. Edwards
http://geoffreypedwards.com

I love you so.....twas Heaven here with you

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April 25,2008
I received an email yesterday from Stacey's mom which Stacy is in Heaven as Dustin is. She made a statement that is so very true. "The Journey we are now on is a LIFE SENTENCE"
She has been on this journey longer than I have but the pain and hurt is still strong in her heart.  One thing I have learned with the support from other moms there is NO time limit on how long one will grieve or feel the pain. As years pass it all may be in a different way but the loss of a child is something no mother will ever completely heal from. We all try to make life as normal as we can but in our hearts always that missing piece. So please always be gentle with a mom and do not try to rush her along this journey we have to travel it the way our heart leads us. And the path a mom travels is different than any other. Love to all moms and hugs too! Patti Rawls

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The circle of pain: 

I can’t help but think of grief as a circle of pain, it never needs sleep, to eat, or rest of any kind. It can hit you from the front, the back, even the side. Your day will be fine and then it will just bounce out of nowhere and hit you like a ton of bricks. It surrounds you completely and you feel like you will never get out. I have avoided all things that I think will bring it up to bear and yet still it hits me. I eat in the bar sections of restaurants so that there isn’t a possibility I will see another little girl that looks like my Sarabeth. And yet I will eat a french-fry and it will remind me of the day she mashed them in her hair laughing. I buy my groceries at 24-hour stores so I can shop late and not see other mothers with their children running, laughing, and happy; yet still I can’t go buy a pack of pads with out crying because most grocery stores put the baby isle in the feminine care isle. I refuse to go into a Super Wal-Mart or a Super Target because inevitably I will end up walking by the children’s clothing section and see all those pretty little dresses I will never get to buy and it hits me and I leave without ever getting what I came for. It’s always there no matter which way I turn, where I look, or how hard I try to hide, IT SURROUNDS ME.

 

It is coming up on a year February 5th she turns two and February 25th it turns 1 Year she’s been gone. How can I ever face this month. The beginning shows me what could have been and the end shows me what will never be.

 

I always thought that being a young mother was an advantage because it meant that I could raise my children and have time and energy for them and help raise my grandchildren and have time and energy for them also maybe even my great grand children too if I was lucky. Now all I see is the many years I will have to remember that she isn’t here, and what I will miss..

 

Everyday I go to work and here people complain about traffic and the cost of child care school projects and home work fights and I can’t help but think I would trade them all my freedom for 1 more chance with my Sarabeth.

 

The broken hearted

SLH

Permission given to post

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Bent But Not Broken
~Donna Frechec, TCF Enid Chapter
 
To the Mother who has lost her only child, or has no surviving children, the thought of Mother's Day sends a stabbing pain that only the ones of us who are in this situation can understand.  We begin to notice Mother's Day cards slipped in right after Valentine's Day along with the Easter cards.  Even before Easter the TV advertising starts.  We try to blot this all out but our subconscious keeps reminding us, the day is coming closer.
 
For the first two years we celebrated Mother's Day for my mother and sister very quietly.  The third year after my daughter Shawna's death, we decided to go to a local restaurant featuring a nice buffet.  We arrived early hoping to avoid the crowd.  A very flustered hostess greeted us and found a table for us.  The tables had been pushed close together to accommodate more people.  It was already becoming very crowded.  She asked the question, "How many Mothers?" It was then we noticed the flowers she was carrying.  Someone managed to stammer out, three- three- Mothers.  She handed us each a flower, while glancing around to find a table for the next group of people.  She didn't notice the one she handed me was pretty battered.
 
My sister wanted to give me hers or get another.  "No, it's ok," I said.  The stem was bent, but not broken completely.  A wilted tired flower was hanging from the stem.  I brought it home and propped it up in a glass of water to revive it.  You see, I could identify with that flower.
 
As a Mother without my child, I have felt so bruised and battered.  Somehow through all the pain, tears, and loneliness, like the flower, I have been bent but never quite broken.
 
~reprinted from TCF Atlanta Newsletter Spring 2004

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"A Special Doorway to Heaven"

 

There is a special doorway to Heaven. A young man stands there. He surveys all that God has created, the universe and beyond. He gazes toward earth and says a simple prayer for his mother and family. Jesus calls to him and says, Need not grieve for your family, they are well. The Father has special work for you to do and it includes those of earth whom are so special to you. You are needed here. In time they will see you again and all will be as one. This I promise. The young man turns to Jesus and says, I miss them and they me. My heart wishes to fly through the stars to comfort my mother. Jesus replies, There is no love stronger than the love that was created the day of your earthly birth. That love will last for all eternity. It is a part of your mother and all who's lives you touched. A breath from your mouth she will feel on her cheek. A touch from you she will feel in her heart. Your face with a smile is forever burned into her memory. This will always be. Your words, "I love You" she will always hear. The young man smiles at Jesus. they walk arm in arm away from the portal of youth.

This doorway is for those whose lives were cut short for the only reason that Our Lord needed them to come home early. Special duties await him, a special task that he will be better able to perform from heaven. His love for his mother is endless. As your broken heart mends you will begin to see that he never left your side. Your shadow no longer is yours, it is him. A gentle breeze that lifts your heart is him.

I LOVE YOU NICK!!

Mom

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Oh, baby, I found heaven when I found you
                  And this heaven is somethin' I don't wanna lose
                  I only know that if you ever said, "Goodbye", I couldn't stand
                  the pain
                  These eyes would cry, cry, cry like the rain
                  And the sun would have nowhere to shine
                  And the stars would all fall from the sky
                  Baby please, don't take away my heaven, oh no
                  'Cause this world would stop turnin', I know
                  And I'd lose my whole world if you go
                  Baby, don't, don't take away my heaven, oh no
                  Oh baby, I saw forever when I saw you
                  And if you left me, I can't imagine what I'd do
                  Now that I've gone and built my world around your love
                  I couldn't let you go
                  Don't ever say, "Goodbye", no, don't, don't, don't ever go
                  'Cause the sun would have nowhere to shine
                  And the stars would all fall from the sky
                  Baby please, don't take away my heaven, oh no
                  'Cause this world would stop turnin', I know
                  (Yes, I know)
                  And I'd lose my whole world if you go
                  (If you go)
                  Baby please, don't take away my heaven, oh no
                  'Cause you might as well take away my life from me
                  What good would a life without you be anyway
                  (Anyway)
                  If you go away
                  Well, the sun would have nowhere to shine
                  And the stars would all fall from the sky
                  (From the sky)
                  Baby please, don't take away my heaven, oh no
                  'Cause this world would stop turnin', I know
                  (Yes, I know)
                  And I'd lose my whole world if you go
                  (If you go)
                  Baby, don't, no, don't take away my heaven, oh no
                  Don't take away my heaven, don't take away your love
                  Don't take away my world 'cause baby, I need your touch
                  Baby, don't, don't take away my heaven, oh no
                  Please don't take away my heaven
                  Please baby, don't, oh
                  Don't take away my heaven, oh
                  Don't take away my heaven, don't take away your love
                  Don't take away my world 'cause baby, I need your touch
                  Baby, don't, don't take away my heaven, oh no

Dustin Marshall Rawls
September 2, 1982 - September 27, 2007
Dustin Lives on Through All The Many People
 that had the honor to know him!
I love you my Son!
God Blessed Me So giving you as MY SON!
"When someone you love becomes a memory,
that memory becomes a treasure!"

pdrawls1956@consolidated.net

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2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.